You can make a chapter in my book of love ~ Felix Jaehn
"I have ordered a rocking chair", he said proudly. "Whatever" I thought, just wanting to spend time with him, have him talk to me, listening to his stories. I liked his stories, his arm around my waist leading me to his Jaguar or his hand on my knee when driving. Our Friday evening was promising a great start to a warm and eventful weekend. The rocking chair, I have to add, was a reminder of Italy and relaxing sun tanning, so I guess he wanted to have a little Italy on his terrace. Great idea.
We drank Baileys on the rocks that night, he showed me his American photo album, I fell in love with a 17-year-old tiger.
It was our turn to get some sun rays that weekend, he showed me how to make coffee using his Pavoni so I learnt it finally that time. Observing the peculiar patterns in my mug, faces and dinosaurs swimming in my cuppa, I was listening to spotify. Our mornings started to become rituals. Before the paranoia set off in our neighbour county, I decided to text my family proactively and grabbed my phone. I scrolled the drop-down screen checking whatsapp. "Hey, you still alive?" the text message said. Bane? No, impossible.
It was Rick. Rick Blaine, yes. I recognised by the whatapp picture that I took of him in Rome, curiously he kept it as his profile pic ever since. Whatever!
Is the world not in order anymore? What did he want? When my life was back to normal, back to perfect and complete again.
"Hey. You still alive? Still not taking my messages or prepared to at least chat? Blaine", the full message read. WTF?!! Was he bored or drunk or smth?
Anyhow. Paranoia prevented and I sat down with Tiger, who was telling me something about pastel colors in flower bouquets and how we were gonna go to the beach that day. Great, I thought, a weekend together.
He drove me to his favourite neighbourhood first, breaking rules he was especially attractive. Some time after, he was accelerating on the motorway, going to the Baltic sea with me. And yeah, you know it: his palm resting on my knee.
"I would like to take you to the angel's cafe first", he murmured softly and started the afternoon with another ritual - espresso and a quick cosy lunch break. Scooter, the German techno star, was in that cafe, too. It made me think how I like the techno dance. "Learning one skill per year", I remembered Tiger say in Verona, inspiring me forever: swimming, triathlon, sailing, NLP to say nothing about all the leadership soft skill courses that he completed "with a badge". I love men who are constantly developing themselves. Rick was like that, too. But forget him, back to Tiger and Scooter. At home, I danced techno to Oliver Helden's "Bunny Dance" in my bunny shoes :). It was and is so much fun. A sudden occasion of "hyper, hyper!!" and Tiger pointing it out to me brought additional joy into my life.
The smell of the sea was salty, the sound of waves and the look of the water were calming. With shoes full of sand after like a second of walking on the beach, we sat down making ourselves comfy to talk openly and enjoy the time.
I forgot about Blaine.
"Shall we start a sports project together?", "You could have any girl, so why me?", "Trust is either there or not at all" were the topics on the blue plush towel. "My life turned 180 degrees ever since last year and since I met you." he repeated. I was like "I am afraid this is going to end". I was screwed up and transferring all my previous bad experience, sounding very skeptical to Tiger. "If it ever ends, I am still going to be grateful for lovely times with you", he said. Then he got up and left to sort out an arm-chair for us and at that point of time it hit me, "I am in love".
Do I tell him or keep it to myself. "Two decision strategies: shrinking or expansion"... No matter how difficult it seemed, I chose expansion that day. It was official: my month, 7th April 2018, I fell in love with Tiger.
"What is your ideal holiday?", he asked and spoke about Robinson clubs after. It all sounded like a fairy-tale. Egypt, Marocco, Maldives: sports, luxury resorts, health and perfect times shared.
Our discussion subjects varied from meditation to Murphy's law. "Do you know the Secret? It is like manifesting your wishes to the universe by placing an order." "Und, schon was bestellt?" I asked. He smiled, reached out and kissed me without answering. Got you, Tiger.
My dear reader, I'd add some conditions to these orders, as per my experience: 1. You gotta let go (forget about it) after placing the wish. 2. You cannot wish what'd harm another person. 3. You gotta be trusting and fatalistic.
Place your order. Let it go. What's best for you will happen.
P.S. That weekend on Sunday, our city was crowded by people enjoying the sun. I called Tiger in the evening, after debating on shrinking or expansion, and he joined me for a walk with an ice-cream. It was a true pleasure to walk together, share thoughts and common interests. Expansion diary next, I guess.