I Think I Am In Love


~Lisbonese (Street) Art and More~

I missed him that night and kept thinking about friendship and relationships. 

I was not trying to analyse or judge but I believed he was a good young chap, who just enjoyed the suffering role too much. On top,  the major male clichès like protecting his sister or being an ally with gangs, riding a Harley and listening to hard rock, made him talk proudly.

He wanted to be saved. He had humour and was clearly communicating his feelings and intentions. He seemed clingy and needed a saviour. Someone who would release and turn him into some sort of a Jedi.

During my holiday, when he was asleep, I wondered through the capital in the rain, all soaked and I was grateful for times he drove me in his car.

I repeatedly walked through the sights he showed me first, being grateful for initial orientation he gave me.

Without Bane, I'd find it difficult to get to the bridge of the 25th April. I would not see the ocean and the Lisbonese neighbourhood villages. I'd never dive into the local story because without Bane, I'd just be seen as a stranger.


Please tell me it is special and I am not another female tourie for you, who you are trying to win over. It may well be so. And it is fine because we both would lie to an extent. But what does it matter if we are both pulled towards "a lá Siths". 

Ok, at least lie to me because I kinda don't wanna acknowledge that all of you Portuguese gents are alfonsos in your hearts and souls.

The sexy Portuguese language. The sensual music. The sexy Sith's way. The sexy vampire way. All good, but not for a Jedi girl.

You kept talking to me about how you plan to change your life, how you want to go work with your dad in Belgium to be closer to Germany. And my heart dropped every time I heard it. Long distance is not for me. Lisbon is nice with you but holidays don't last. You are night, I am day, literally.

One night you texted me saying "I think ... I am in love" ...

Keep cool, do not mix the roller coaster of chemicals in your brain with a true love by action. With commitment. With equal levels.

Is life only a game? Are we only actors playing a role?

So the real question is if she also likes to suffer and be sad from time to time?


"Mein Herz Brennt" ~ Rammstein.